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  • Writer's pictureRobin Chestner-Hannon

Bees in the Bonnet

Updated: Aug 16, 2021

I was talking with a friend this morning, and we were discussing the fact that many people seem to be drawn to our energy, and as well what we are trying to accomplish. The issue was that just like a moth to a flame, energetically we were drawing stinging bees as well.

As an Empath (at least for me) I believe that my compassion and ability to understand how people think and feel is both a gift and a two edged sword. From feedback I've received it is a very common problem we seem to deal with. Our healing nature attracts the broken. Many of these broken souls are suffering with anger, pain, and bitterness. Their attraction to us is for their healing, but the problem is that often they end up taking their pain out on us.

I've learned the hard way that I can't save every soul. If I reach out and they insist on being detrimental to themselves and to myself, there is really no choice but to cut the ties. This is not done without some discussion about proper boundaries and respect. Obviously I want to give every opportunity to aid their path and healing. However if they persist it is the equivalent of a bee in my bonnet. If anyone has ever had a bee sting, it's a very painful thing. For some if they have allergies it can be fatal.

The best response to an angry bee is to give it a lot of space. It's venomous, and my job is not to tame the bee. It reminds me of the story : A scorpion, which cannot swim, asks a frog to carry it across a river on the frog's back. The frog hesitates, afraid of being stung by the scorpion, but the scorpion argues that if it did that, they would both drown. The frog considers this argument sensible and agrees to transport the scorpion. Midway across the river, the scorpion stings the frog anyway, dooming them both. The dying frog asks the scorpion why it stung the frog despite knowing the consequence, to which the scorpion replies: "I couldn't help it. It's in my nature."

We can only change someone to the degree they wish to be changed. If their nature is harmful and toxic and they choose to continue in that, it is not in our best interest to continue with them.

On a compassionate level this is rough. On a human level it's even harder. It's a choice every day to refuse to allow ourselves to fall into anger, bitterness, and lack of forgiveness. Our humanity demands justice, and respect. When people attack, when they harm, it can lead down a rabbit hole to negative emotions which affect an Empath physically and emotionally.

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