Updated: Dec 4, 2022
A friend asked me this evening, how did you find peace, and why did it take you so long. This was my reply: My friend it has taken all of my sixty-seven years, and it is still a day-to-day process.
Why so long? Many reasons. Firstly, I had to come to the realization that peace was not without. It was not a place, and it was not a person. It was not money; it was not security. Peace was not a good or bad experience, good or bad health. Peace was the process of letting go of all the expectations of this world that normally people expect to fill their heart and soul. In essence I was stripped to the bone. When I could find peace within, in spite of loss, in spite of ill health, no matter where I was, and when I could release control of my world, and give to Creator's hand, peace became more attainable.
The less I fought for my "rights", the less I sought "justice", and the more I submitted to the life lessons, the more peaceful I became. In effect it was at times similar to sitting in the middle of the eye of a storm. In this center as long as I did not allow the things around me to pull me in, I was centered and at peace.
There are still times peace can be elusive. My natural tendency and human state is to want to be in control. I want justice, I crave it. There are times fear grips my heart still, when life throws certain curve balls at me. My biggest and easiest Achilles heel is the need for security. My life lesson has been to see that security in this life is an illusion.
The more I feed faith, not fear, the more centered I am, the less security matters. Faith and fear are two sides of the same coin. Both require a belief in something not yet seen or manifested. It is being able to discern when fear rises, and turn it into faith that produces true peace. It is letting go rather than always grabbing at my "rights". It is the knowledge that I can live in the moment. Yesterday is gone and written in stone. Tomorrow is unknown. What we have is this moment, and as soon as we breathe that moment is gone.