Thoughts from this year 2020
Updated: Jan 1
Recap of this year for me. This has been a year that has put to the test all that I've written about concerning fear and faith.
With Covid spreading all over, so many deaths, and now a variant that spreads more easily I found myself struggling with fear and despair. I had to remind myself and still do that fear and faith are the opposite sides of the same coin. If I have faith to fear, then I have faith to have faith. I have had to remind myself of what I wrote about sitting in the center of a storm. That it is important to ground, and to sit calmly and not be sucked into whatever is whirling around me.
It's been a time of deep introspection. Of patience, and of gratefulness for the things I took for granted. I have spent precious moments with my older daughter and three grandchildren on their porch outside, social distancing, and with my younger daughter and her children in the park. I have realized how much I took for granted, every day things such as going to the grocery store without fear, or shopping in the mall. I have come to cherish all the more all the friends I've made on Facebook and other places.
Each day I am grateful to be alive, especially as I watch the utter chaos and destruction around me. I cherish my freedoms that have been at risk, and each day I pray that our country finds unity and common ground instead of contention.
Back in 2000 I died on the table during a third back surgery. I saw many things in that state, and I can say without hesitation I know that I know there is more to life after we pass. I am not afraid of death, but what concerns me is the manner of it. As well my concern is more for my children and grandchildren. But I need to remind myself that I am not in control of this thing. Again I must choose to have faith, with my roots firmly planted in the earth, and my eyes to Creator whatever may come.
May this new Year bring clarity, unity, renewed fiscal health, and physical health. I pray that blessings overflow to each and all who read my words. Much love, peace within.